(via ms-notebook)
GET IGNORED SO MUCH BITCHES CALL ME TERMS AND CONDITIONS
at least you get accepted no matter what
that’s the most uplifting thing i’ve seen all day
(via moist-toast)
93 Diagon Alley
I'm just poor college student student who is far too involved in the lives of fictional characters.
when i was a kid driving through the backwoods my father would never stop and ask for directions. at the time i felt a sense of powerlessness, trapped as it were with this man who was too proud to ask for directions but not smart enough to get us out of the woods by nightfall. now, 50 years later, I find myself understanding my father better. who would ask for directions from these faceless men with teeth sharper than any animal could need? as a child i always noticed a distinct and familiar scent whenever we drove past one of those shabby homes, but could never place it. 50 years later i recognize it as the scent of rotting meat
(via moist-toast)
we went on splash mountain today
We’re in a stable relationship
I’m surprised you weren’t asked to leave for all that horsing around in the front
There is nothing about this picture that isn’t quality
like despite the couple in the front there’s the guy absolutely freaking out about them kissing and trying to protect jane crocker’s innocence
there’s those two people behind them that absolutely cannot believe what they’re looking at
and then there’s the guy in the back who is waiting for jesus to take him away from all this nonsense
(via moist-toast)
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
(via moist-toast)
#sass
(via ms-notebook)
why is there a fucking tomato in the train
because its the subway
(via lonnier)
LIFE HACK
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
fuck
(via sharksarentevil)
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
(via smoshbuscusdawson)
runwhenisayrunfightwhenisayfight:
If you don’t get this reference, you’re too young for tumblr.
are you fucking kidding me pixar puts out a movie ever year a baby would get this reference
it’s not pixar it’s a reference to that time in 1994 when lamps became sentient humanoids
many were lost that day
It was a grim day for mankind. My parents took refuge in a cave and thus saved us from certain death; we lived close to a lamp factory at the time and the surrounding region was utterly devastated in the conflict.
My brother fought one off using only an egg whisk and a pogo stick.
Only 90s kids remember the Lampocalypse
My father still has the scars from where one stole his kidney
They stole my parents, but my mother managed to escape with her life, half converted to a lamp. She now must hop wherever she goes.
(via smoshbuscusdawson)
(via smoshbuscusdawson)
